I saw My Own True Color & I started Believing in Myself More

 I am here to just drop a few words from my inner landscape. Yes, according to my inner landscape, where a constant struggle between right and wrong has been going on for a while. It was like a final inning, though, where things became more intense, cruel, and unsupportive in the last two years.

Every time, after a hard try, I found a minute reason to move on and carry on with life's utter or ultimate realities, and the people were highly judgemental and unkind.

Well, I wouldn't say that they are solely like this; some of them came out to support me and all the victims who were in some way weak or misunderstood for a variety of reasons.

For me, now the battle is culminating, I have started this battle for the good of all. 

I saw my senior comparing me with my collegueas.

I saw ugly agenda unraveling in people's offices.

I saw inculturation and dehumanization.

I observed people who weren't performing their allocated duties.

I saw people organizing many seminars and conferences just add volumes in their Resume.

I observed folks who were secretly envious of one another

I saw people keeping things and not giving cent percent to save the future of students.

I saw people undermining and not appreciating what they had done.

I saw forming lots of committees but on paper only.

I saw people of different positions, not fully understanding their duties.

I saw people exploiting people out of insecurity or for fun and drama.

Well, I saw many things in my outer landscape, which made my inner landscape quite gloomy and sad.

I started losing faith in the secular power of administrations.

I observed people forcing their beliefs on one another while showing little regard for the fundamental principles of faith, vision and humanity.

I began choking and throwing up all that my parents, teachers, and friends had taught me. All of a sudden, everything began to fall off like snowflakes, just the way wall plaster does when moisture and humidity enter it. Yes, it initially appears ugly or unsightly, and because of this, no one paid attention to it or even considered fixing it.

I was very uncomfortable seeing this ugly side of people in my outer landscape, but later on, I realized those ugly sides were a reflection of my Own True Color.

I wondered and question myself, "How I have come this ugly"?

I mediated a lot as I did nothing wrong

I questioned myself once more and examined my intuition carefully. There, I was acting with the purest of intentions. However, I later questioned what was wrong and what that one thing was that was off.

 I ask myself?

I then immersed myself in the process?

Despite the fact that I am completely truthful, people do not like me.

They have questioned every new staff, leaving only a select handful.

After trying to identify my mistakes for years, my inspiration suddenly failed me there. I didn't come here; I wasn't even brought here. I arrived without any money, but I do have individuals who will help me and support me without using dishonest tactics. Well, if that was incorrect, then perhaps, as I have no response. My parents and a few of my friends responded to my questions and requests for assistance by advising me to seize the opportunity I have been given before someone else does. People simply don't seem to care.

That evening, though, I had a dream in which I was speaking with Buddha. Although I am aware that most people won't believe in such things, I thought that this would be a nice sign to go along with the possibility of a better life that I was about to provide.

I went to an interview, and  I cleared it, and after that, I lost my peace. I was not allowed to live in Peace.

People tried to shatter my center, but I took a back seat. I was even made a part of a few agendas of which I was not even aware. 

I began to feel as though people were taking my quiet for granted.

I recently came to understand, and I even saw clearly, that the struggle I described, in the beginning, was taking place not only in my inner terrain but also in the entire outer environment, using a variety of various weapons.

My inner light, my True Self, was hidden out of fear, and I undermined myself by giving more power to those who I believed to be superior to me.

The Universe has recently made it clear to me that "No One Is Perfect," not even the person who claimed to be Perfect.

My lost faith in myself automatically grew back as soon as I realized that.

I began having more faith in myself, in my convictions, and in my honesty, which no one loves but I can live with.

Since my inner landscape is content and complete, I don't need anyone's approval or praise.

That way, I have learned to see and appreciate my Own True Color!

It is always better to observe Oneself than others